Our Family

Our Family

Monday, November 16, 2009

It’s Official!!!

We are LOA for Min Zhi and frantically paperchasing for Xi Fan!

Xi Fan turns 14 by January 20, so we will travel before then!

I just was granted the possibility to become the mom of 6 in the next 9 weeks!!!

All my best,

Amy

Pins and Needles

That would barely begin to describe how I feel…plus a side of butterflies that travel all the way to my heart. It is hard to wrap my mind around the idea that I may soon be a mom to…dare I say…six!

Remember that little girl I mentioned before, the one who is in danger of ageing out? We have been in prayer all weekend for her.

On Friday I talked to someone from the agency that has her file, and was told that we would have to put another dossier together in two weeks (!!!) in hopes to have her in time. Gulp! ALL that paperwork again, in expedited timing, and the expense of everything again…ok, what is the price of the life? I struggled to come to grip with that, and started my journey of prayer. Later I talked to the woman in charge of the agency and she said that there have been rare cases of being allowed to adopt two unrelated children on one dossier, and she thought that our situation would qualify! She also said that her agency has people in transit right now to China to work with orphans, and would personally petition our case with the CCAA! They have an excellent standing with the CCAA, which makes a HUGE difference! I was elated, to say the least!

Now the bigger hurdle closer to home…to get both DAVE and ANDREW to agree with the whole idea. Dave has, as I said before, agreed to pray about it, and has brought it up to the children. That certainly didn’t mean that he was willing to go forward himself! Knowing that his decision is not a momentary one but a forever one really made him deliberate for a long time. Andrew, on the other hand, hasn’t been too excited about the adoption in general, and the thought of ANOTHER sister brought out an adamant “NO WAY” from him. Gulp. Ok, God, it is in your hands!

Not knowing how long I would need to fast, I didn’t want to fast from all food because I still need to function as a wife and mother to my family. Instead, I have been fasting from coffee all weekend (if you know me, that is HUGE! Even David said that he knew that I was serious when I told him that I was fasting from coffee!) and praying non-stop. God even woke me up in the middle of the night for all three of the past nights for me to wrestle it out with him. At first, I honestly didn’t know if I wanted to go forward myself! The whole fear of the unknown was crashing down on me and the possibility of future guilt made me want to run. Then I remembered the biblical story of the sheep and goats, and the words,” Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you something to drink? When did we see you a stranger and invite you in, or needing clothes and clothe you? The King will reply: I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me.” Matt. 25: 37, 38, 40. I remembered the story of the good Samaritan, and didn’t want to be like the priest or the Levite. I mean, if I didn’t know, if our situation wasn’t favorable, I wouldn’t feel the responsibility! But I do know, and our dossier is there, and there is a possibility; I cannot ignore her. And the worry and guilt about what might happen? That is what the Israelites did when they were standing outside their promised land, but some of the spies gave a “scary” account of the people that lived there. The Israelites let their vain imaginations run away with them and didn’t do what the Lord wanted them to do. Although they were later forgiven, not one of them were able to enter their promised land. I don’t want to be standing outside my promised land, wishing that I would have trusted instead of feared!

Once God squared it away in me that I wanted this girl, then I started to pray fervently for Dave’s and Andrew’s hearts. I knew that I couldn’t change them, it had to be from God alone. Dave and I talked about it at great length Saturday night, and he admitted that he felt that I would hold it against him if he decided not to go forward with the adoption. Praise God that HE already worked through that with me, and I told Dave that I was at peace with submitting to his decision. After all, if I was right and Dave was wrong, he would have to answer to God! By Sunday morning, Dave said that he was behind the adoption!!!! Later in the day, while sharing with Andrew that this little girl, although older than he, would only be 1” taller than him, AND, although she is older, the language barrier and transition to US schools would put her behind. I then asked him if he could choose a grade for her, would he want her to be in a different grade than him or the same one…and after thinking for a few moments, he said that the same grade would probably be the best for her…so HE is officially on board! Otherwise he wouldn’t want to share a grade or a house or a family or anything with her! Ever since that moment he has been asking more questions about her, slowly warming up to the idea!!!

That brings it up to today. Madison Adoption Agency (MAA—love them!!!) is contacting my agency to work out the details. Although we thought that I could have MAA advocate for us in Beijing, it actually won’t work because of the different agencies but same dossier. Therefore we need WACAP to agree to take the girl’s referral and to push this through the processes. I am also praying that they will not make us pay full agency fees, as the other costs without agency fees add up to over 10k as it is.

SO, that is where we stand at the moment. I should be hearing back within the hour about what was discussed. If we get this second girl, we will need to be in China by January 19; by January 20 it will be too late. Without this second girl, we would be traveling February, maybe March. Will you please join me in fervent prayer about this process?

All my best,

Amy

Friday, November 13, 2009

WE GOT OUR LOA!!!!!!!!!!!!!

WE GOT OUR LOA!!!!!!!!!!!! We got the phone call tonight! We're all doing the happy dance!

Day 88

No word again on the home front regarding Min Zhi. Now I am beginning to wonder if the delay was for a purpose.
I NEED YOUR HELP!
There is a girl that will turn 14 mid-January that no one has started adoption proceedings on. There have been alerts put up all over the adoption yahoo groups about this girl. She is healthy, just in jeopardy of ageing out. I have seen her for months on the lists, but never thought that she was meant for us. Now we are thinking that we may be meant for her.
PLEASE JOIN US IN PRAYING ABOUT XI FAN!
I don’t want to make a decision based on emotions, because I want to save the world. I also don’t want to make a decision out of fear, as that will keep me from doing anything. I want to discern what God’s will is for us.
Dave started shaking his head at me when I first brought this up, called me nuts, and then ignored me…which is fine, as I show him photos of kids I would love to add to our family all the time. He then said that he needed to pray hard about it. Last night he started talking to the kids about her. I talked to the agency about her today, and found out all that needs to happen in the next three weeks…
PLEASE PRAY FOR GOD’S WISDOM AND DISCERNMENT…AND for Him to be abundantly CLEAR about his will. I really don’t want to have division regarding this girl—but I also don’t want to know that she aged out and we were in the position to do good to her.
All my best,
Amy

Monday, November 2, 2009

Day 77

I feel the need to get the day count out of the way, so I can continue on with everyday life. It is always in my mind, my thoughts, and my plans. I am trying HARD to not to fret over it, b/c all the worry in the world won’t change it one bit. I cannot manipulate it in the least way, so I must learn to accept it as totally out of my control. I know that the LORD has it all worked out, and nothing is too big for Him. I know that he wants to set the lonely into families, and I am praying that he will move the hearts and hands of the men involved to get that letter of approval here. That said, my heart continues to leap into my throat every time the phone rings…
We had a very unexpected surprise this weekend! While visiting his mom in Xian last spring, David briefly met another woman volunteering in Starfish Foster Home that was from Australia. Making the off-hand comment, “If you are ever in our neck of the woods...” David offered a place to stay to Tracey. Fast forward to September: I get an e-mail from Tracey saying that she WAS going to be in our neck of the woods…could she and a friend stay for the last weekend in October? Friday was a day of preparation, of course, and since I didn’t know either woman from Eve, I was a bit nervous about how the weekend would play out. I can honestly say that I felt like we entertained angels!! Tracey and her friend Nicola were wonderfully sweet, entertaining, and fun! The kids ALL loved them as well. We had busy schedules, but were all allowed to go our ways and still have great times of fellowship. Saturday night wrapped up with movies and pizza in the basement, crazy photos in the family room, and singing musical songs by the piano and guitar until almost midnight! The older kids convinced them to sing for their Sunday school classes before they left, which was so fun!!!
Tracey talked to me about the adoption process in Australia, and she made the comment how LUCKY we are to be expecting our letter of approval this EARLY in the process. She knows people who have been waiting FOUR years for a child. Australia doesn’t like SN kids, as it is a governmental-run health care system, and their adoption process is typically more time consuming than ours (GASP!!!). So, I was reminded that it is all how you look at it; I am trying to look at it with God framing this whole process.
Blessings,

Amy

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

We’re Open!

As of yesterday, our storefront is officially open! There are six kinds of fair-trade coffee, plus t-shirt, hats, etc. Everything purchased helps orphans all over the world, not just our little girl in China. Please take a peek and spread the word! http://www.justlovecoffee.com/FathmanFamily

In case you were wondering, we are on day 71 of our wait for our LOA. PLEASE join us in prayer to bring our little girl home! God sets the lonely in families…I know that he desires the same for Min Zhi!

Blessings,

Amy

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

Have a Cup, Help a Child

Do you like coffee? Do you know someone else who does? Would you consider partnering with us in another effort to help orphans worldwide?

Just Love Coffee is a family founded/run coffee company that started with the desire to help orphans in Ethiopia and adoptive families worldwide. If you would like to read more about the Webb family, their vision, or their coffee, click here: http://www.justlovecoffee.com/index.htm

When you purchase a pound of coffee from http://www.justlovecoffee.com/FathmanFamily a percentage of the sale goes to our account. Another cut goes to orphans in Ethiopia and the rest covers the overhead, beans, etc. I personally know of someone who buys premium coffee for over $20 a pound and is happy about the price—so this is MUCH more economical!!!

On a side note, we are looking at tens of thousands of dollars of debt with this adoption. Some will be paid by tax refund, but as it looks now, that won’t be until 2011. Please consider purchasing a bag of coffee or two, or get on the monthly plan—and share the coffee and website with your friends! To credit our account, log in here: http://www.justlovecoffee.com/FathmanFamily

This really isn’t about helping the Fathmans. Heaven knows, we need all the help we can get!!! But this is about helping the fatherless, the needy, the lost. This is about a little girl in China that has spent 7 years in a SWI. This is about pure religion: “Religion the God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress.” James 1:27 It is about helping the orphan—to some, God says “pray”, to others, God says “give.” To us, God said “adopt.” How cool that we can all partner to do His will! “God sets the lonely in families” Psalm 68:6

One last note: November 8th is Orphan Sunday. Perhaps your church already has plans for something special that day. Would you consider asking them if they would purchase coffee to serve from us, and therefore helping orphans in two continents at once?

Thank you for your help!

Friday, October 16, 2009

Day 60

I am saddened to see it has taken this long to get our letter of approval, especially since it is not here yet. I have been praying specifically that we would get our LOA this week, so there are a few hours left that my prayers can be answered and we can receive notice. BUT, like Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego said: “But even if he does not, we want you to know, O king, that we will not serve your gods.” Daniel 3:18. I KNOW that my God can do the impossible, can move the hearts and hands of men, can remove barriers and make our path straight. But even if he does not, I will still choose to praise him. I know that HE is GOOD, and if I do not receive that which I have been asking for, I trust that His way is better than my way, and that this process is better for me and for His glory.

I recently had one of my children question me and my motives. It seems that this child knows what is best and, despite only being in the teen years, can overcome any obstacle and temptation that comes their way. It seems that I don’t understand, and if I would only let them do what they want, everyone will be happier.

Hmmm. Sounds like some prayers of mine!

O God, thou knowest! YOU have created the heavens and the earth, and everything in them. YOU have known the future before you created time, and YOU have a plan for me. YOU love me and want the best for me, if not for the here and now, then for the eternal. Even though I may not see your hand, I WILL TRUST your heart.

I have committed myself not to go through today filled with faithless fretting.

If we go through the weekend and the next week and the next month still waiting for THE call from our agency, then I will continue to praise him.

Psalm 139:16 All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.

Nothing happens outside of HIS plan. Praise His Name.

Tuesday, September 29, 2009

It's coming!

Starting next month (hopefully!) we will be starting a new fund raiser. If you know anything about me, you know that I am a true coffee addict. I very often can't wait to go to bed at night so that I can wake up and have my morning coffee! And I am no longer satisfied with the Folgers or Maxwell House brands...living near a Starbucks and not having a lower cost alternative while in Shanghai took care of that. David has dubbed me a "coffee snob"--not a connoisseur, mind you, that would insinuate that I know what I am talking about when discussing the finer points of coffee. I just like it STRONG and BLACK...not foo-foo coffees for me.

SO, now that you know a bit more about what keeps me going, I am going to offer it to you too, as well as an opportunity to help us bring Min Zhi home now and Ethiopian orphans in the future. An adoptive family has started a business roasting, grinding, and selling coffee in 1# bags from their on-line storefront. They set this up to help families through the financial part of adoption. It isn't ready quite yet, but HOPEFULLY by next week we will be able to order it, try it, and let you know how to buy your bags! When you log in using our name, our account will be credited.

Please check back soon--more info to follow,

Your friendly coffee snob,

Amy

WAITING in Hamilton

Day 42, and not a peep from the CCAA yet. I have been in contact with the agency also, so it is not a matter that they forgot to notify us. I know that the Moon Festival is this week, and it is the 60th anniversary since Chairman Mao set up the People's Republic of China. Two big celebrations, no chance that the CCAA will be working on the first of October! I must remind myself of this and start hoping for a phone call next week when the celebrations are over.



Last week David sent our photo album and letter to Min Zhi. I know that she can't contact us, but OH how I wish I knew if she got it, what she thought of it, of US...



In my bible study this week I was reminded that very often once we are called to obey we enter a desert place for a time. Look at Jesus; he obeyed in baptism and then went to the desert for a 40 day fast! Abram obeyed God, left his homeland and traveled to an unknown destination. Noah obeyed God, built a boat, and was saved from the immediate rains, but then he sat... I feel like we are still working through the obedience part--there are still documents to fill out and then fill out again when the computer dies and takes all the files with it, money to grow on trees and harvest for payments, endless rounds of the "name game". I don't like this stage, as I don't know when it will be over. The next stage of bringing OUR DAUGHTER home is so mixed with excitement and thrills and fears of the unknown that I am trying to be careful not to wish any time away, trying to cherish my family as I know it today, trying to be content with the process.

BUT, then I think of my little girl over there without a family to love her, without a mother to hug her and tuck her in at night, without a hope for a future and my heart starts its palpitations all over again and I start hovering over the phone, just in case it might ring...



I will now go find my place in my family and thank God for the blessings he has entrusted to me thus far.



Until later,



Amy

Sunday, September 20, 2009

Left Behind

David is on his way to China right now. He has the benefit of the direct flight to Shanghai, so he doesn’t have to stop in Narita, Japan, but it is 14 ½ hours straight. As soon as he took off, I went out for a run, just because I COULD and he couldn’t. J ha!

How I wish I was going with, and we could go down to the Guangxi province! How I would love to scoop up Min Zhi and bring her home! I know that it is prideful, but honestly, in comparison to what she has in china, WHY IN THE WORLD would China not approve us and make her stay there? Are they scared that we have too many children that there won’t be enough love to go around? Or that the economy is too bad that we won’t be able to clothe her for the impending winter? Or that we have chickens, and her health would be compromised by the Avian flu???

We are on day 33 of waiting for LOA. I know that MANY people reach into triple digits of wait time. But I also know that I am not to compare myself with others, that my God will do as He wishes, and in His perfect timing we will bring her home. BUT I will NOT stop asking, or knocking, or petitioning Him at the throne room of grace. If an unrighteous judge will hear the cries of the widow, how much more will my God, the righteous judge, hear my cries in behalf of the orphan?

Please join me in praying for Min Zhi to be given permission to COME HOME!

Sunday, September 13, 2009

A rose by any other name…

In filling out the DS-230, Application for Immigrant Visa and Alien Registration, we have to choose Min Zhi’s name NOW. Goodness, even when I gave birth I had 24 hours after they were in my arms to decide! How can I know if she is an Amanda or Aubrey or Alyvia? What about Anissa or Alyssa or Angela? What about the half dozen others that we are tossing around? Of course, our four bios all have a DIFFERENT favorite. HMMMM. Then again, Andrew wanted to name Hannah “Warthog” before she was born, and would probably cast his vote there now, so maybe I shouldn’t put too much stock in what they think. And then, do we give her an American first AND second name, leaving her Chinese name as a third name? Or do we keep it more prominent as her only middle name? I have heard arguments from both sides.

If anyone wants to cast a vote, perhaps I can post the possibilities and you can let me know. But it has to be quickly!! I am PRAYING for a speedy LOA, so I need to have the paperwork turned in. Then again, maybe if I don’t have all my ducks in a row, the LOA will come sooner…

Photos to China!

Since we have LID, we are able to send packages to Min Zhi! We grabbed a bunch of photos of us and but them in an album—our first “gift” to our little girl! I hope she isn’t too scared of animals!!!

We took a photo of each member of our family, even the goldfish, so she can start thinking about us and picturing us in her mind. I SOOO want her to think of my face when she thinks of a mama. More than that, I want her to have HOPE that she is wanted! We are here, Min Zhi! Wish you were, too!

Blessed and Humbled



I haven’t written about Min Zhi Monday because I was unable to collect from all of the businesses that sponsored the day. It was difficult to show up for, what I perceived, our “handout”. I know that each business owner agreed to support us, and that we washedHamilton in pink signs as well as posted it in churches’ announcements, so I felt a bit better about it since we did some “advertising”.

I can now officially say that Min Zhi Monday was a success. I can also say that I know that several of the business owners gave not only from their proceeds but from their wallets, too. Maybe I am just weird that way, but I have the worst time asking for money from others. I would rather do without something and pay it myself, but the staggering amount of money we need to pay forces me out of my comfort zone. Just asking for help is hard enough—I would rather be the one giving of my time, making meals, watching kids, cleaning houses, etc to help others. I must admit that I am shocked, surprised, and humbled that others would want to help me.

BUT it is not about me right now. It is about my daughter who is presently away from her forever family. It is about doing WHATEVER it takes to bring her home. And, just like on numerous occasions for each of my bio children, I will do whatever it takes to help her find her way home.

Hold on, Min Zhi! We are coming!!!

Monday, September 7, 2009

Another check in the box

After planning for it all summer, filling up the garage with stuff so Dave had to park outside for the past two months, and postponing twice due to rain, we actually had the garage sale. The weather was perfect. It was a LONG day, about eight hours from start to finish. Unfortunately, we did not do very well with it. It wasn’t for lack of planning or lack of items—or due to overpricing the items. Stuff just didn’t sell. SO, a thrift store benefiting Guatemala was the recipient of our trailer-full of treasures. We did make one very nice sale, which made up for over half of the daily earnings, and I am grateful for that. A woman who is adopting from Ethiopia bought a bunch of our ski equipment, and I hope they have made good use of it on this wonderful holiday weekend!

I do want to thank some super women who gave not only their items but their hands and time as well: Marcia Kwantes, Melissa Charron, and Amy Van Oss were my heroes of the day! If it wasn’t for them, I probably would have been still setting up past noon!

A sad note: my keys seem to have pulled a vanishing act. I had them in my back pocket for most of the day, and only crossed the street once to use the gas station’s bathroom. I did ride with Austin to give thank you notes to the businesses that sponsored “Min Zhi Monday”, but I retraced those steps and asked everyone I had visited about them. No luck. SO, after a not-so-hot day of garage sale-ing, about half of what we brought in will go to replacing the key and keyless entry fob. (Sniff)

Wednesday, September 2, 2009

LID!! WE HAVE OUR LID!!!

According to our caseworker, the CCAA logged in our dossier on August 17th!

It is off to translation! YES!!!

Here’s a story:

There once was a boy. He didn’t think that he needed to rely on God, but his parents still taught him about God and taught him to set apart his tithe. Since this boy didn’t put a lot of value in church, his parents said it was ok for him to dedicate his tithe for other things of his choosing.

Last year this boy worked all summer, being obedient and setting his tithe aside. He gave it to the cause he desired but, as it turns out, this cause had enough funds to cover their expenses and RETURNED this boy’s tithe to him. So, this boy tucked it away all winter.

This year, even though he didn’t think he even had a job due to hard economic times, this boy heard of a little girl in China who needed a family. He also heard that a local family very much wanted to adopt this little girl. Of course, with international adoption, this family was trying to fundraise to help bring home their daughter. Remembering his tithe, this boy gave it all to this family.

This was done in secret, with no desire for recognition. BUT, it didn’t escape notice, and has been a huge blessing to both the adoption fund AND to the hearts of the adoptive parents.

James 1:27 says-- Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world.

Even though this boy didn’t want to rely on God, he was an example of pure and faultless religion. Perhaps one day he will surrender his heart, as his hands are already busy doing HIS will.

To our anonymous donor: Thank you.